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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29748471">take my hand (stay, joanne)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherriesAndRaindrops/pseuds/CherriesAndRaindrops'>CherriesAndRaindrops</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the grass grows, we take it, we want it [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Funeral, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Past Character Death, Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:20:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29748471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherriesAndRaindrops/pseuds/CherriesAndRaindrops</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Ezra reminisces on the time that time stopped.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ezra &amp; Gus (OC), Ezra &amp; Joanne (OC), Ezra/Fiona (OC), Fiona &amp; Joanne (OC), Sage/Donovan (OC)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the grass grows, we take it, we want it [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110386</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. sometimes i wish i could freeze the picture (and save it from the funny twists of time)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>fic title inspiration: joanne by lady gaga</p><p>chapter title inspiration: slipping through my fingers by abba.</p><p>this is probably bad, ill edit it tomorrow.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time moved fast for Ezra.</p><p>That wasn’t all that surprising, though. He, like his two fellow gods and a lot of the people he tended to surround himself with, were immortal. When you’d seen nearly 600 years worth of everything you could ever imagine, things began to get fuzzy, and time began to blur.</p><p>But time didn’t always work like that.</p><p>In fact, sometimes time just completely stopped.</p><p>But that hadn’t happened for a long while. Not to Ezra, at least.</p><p>He sat in front of his vanity and gently released his long, messy blonde hair from it’s place in his ponytail, letting it flow freely down his back. He played with its ends as he dipped his tiny black cloth in his water bowl and began removing his eyeliner.</p><p>“Ezra!”</p><p>He swung around to see his head servant, Sapphire, dashing into the large doorway.</p><p>“What do you want?” He groaned, rubbing his eyes. “I’m tired...”</p><p>“I’m sorry, but-“</p><p>“Father!”</p><p>The fire god was immediately struck out of his daze by the familiar, scared voice coming from down the hall.</p><p>And so Gus, his adoptive son and god of the forest’s animals, bolted into the bedroom and right into Ezra’s arms.</p><p>“Hey, hey, hey.” He murmured softly as he stroked his long, black, curly hair. “What happened, hm?”</p><p>“He said he had a nightmare.” Sapphire explained solemnly.</p><p>Ezra nodded, pulling his terrified son closer to his chest.</p><p>“...I should go now.”</p><p>And with that, the pink-haired woman scurried out of the room.</p><p>“The...the-the-“ Gus stammered through his sobs.</p><p>“The what?”</p><p>“The forest... the forest was on fire.” The small god cried. “I-I tried to save everyone...”</p><p>His face broke, and he bursted into tears once again, hiding his face in Ezra’s leather jacket. “B-but I couldn’t do it!”</p><p>“Oh, Gus...” He cooed sympathetically, lifting him up off the floor and carrying him in his arms. “It was just a dream, alright? It was all just a dream...”</p><p>He plopped down on his bed, and gently started rocking back and fourth as Gus quivered and wept into his jacket. His poor, sweet son. His son that would spend eternity with the bolder of proving himself to be just as good as the goddess before him.</p><p>Ezra would never say it, but everytime he even glanced into his sweet, cheerful dark brown eyes, he always saw the goddess before him.</p><p>He saw their eyes that were deep blue like the ocean, their white shirt that was usually had small bits of dirt stained onto the ends of it due to their incessant sense of adventure, their big, pale hands that found themselves wrapped around his when they were anxious or excited.</p><p>The hands he hadn’t held in a whole century.</p><p>The hands he would never be able to hold again.</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>“Ezra!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He groaned, being rudely awakened by Joanne shaking him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“C’mon, wake up!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What do you want, Joey?” He asked groggily as he rolled over to face them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’d promised you’d take me to see the sunrise on the top of the hill!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He huffed, rubbing his eyes. “Alright, alright, I’m up.” He agreed, pulling himself up off his bed. He grabbed his slightly oversized leather jacket and yanked on. “C’mon.” He said as started walking forward, gesturing for Joanne to follow him out of his bedroom.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The smaller goddess skipped behind him, grinning from ear to ear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You look like crap.” He commented as the two made their way out of his chamber. “Did you even get any sleep?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Nah.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ezra chuckled, his crystal blue eyes staring down at the lush, green grass that was darkened by the deep blue dusk sky thousands of feet above him, filled with tiny, but gorgeous stars.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>None of them could outshine Joanne’s smile.</em>
</p><p><em>“Watch your step.” He murmured. They were approaching a stone hedge</em>. Down below it was a hundred feet, a glistening, shallow lake overflowing with the water from the large waterfall above it, and a bunch of rocks sharp as knifes.</p><p>
  <em>The two of them began walking across it, the clicking and clacking of their shoes hitting the stones echoing throughout the early morning air.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They were soon replaced with sounds of someone slipping on a wet patch.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Whoaaaa!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In an instant, Ezra had swung around and firmly grabbed Joanne’s shoulders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You alright?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, I’m fine.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He sighed. “You scared me there.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why?” She grinned. “D’ya love me or something?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Of course I do, you’re like family to me.” The blonde responded. He turned back around, continuing the journey to the hill. She had gotten lucky there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her luck would soon run out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Joanne grabbed his hand, swinging it around a bit. He smiled, squeezing it tight. He adored them, he really did.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was the youngest of the gods, just surpassing 102 years old. She wasn’t quiet and eccentric like Fiona, or snarky and roguish like Ezra. Instead, she was playful, lively, talkative, a bit sarcastic, and the sweetest person in the entire forest, and all of it’s villagers praised her immensely.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At long last, just as the sky was starting to light up, the pair finally reached the hill.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ezra practically dragged Joanne up it, listening to them babble on and on about whatever was intriguing them at that time. Some might’ve said they were annoying, but he didn’t mind hearing them talk. In fact, it was good to hear them sound so cheerful, considering the large war going on between their forest and the shadowlanders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Here we are.” He announced quietly as they reached it’s peak.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She immediately scurried to it’s edge, sitting down on the soft light green grass. She grinned at him, patting the spot next to her, which was where he quickly sat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, taking in the beautiful sight right in front of them. They could see their entire forest, their entire world, from up there. It was nothing but absolutely mesmerizing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ezra looked over at his best friend, who was staring at the pink sky with awe and curiously in her ocean blue eyes. He smiled.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s cool, isn’t it?” He asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She shrugged. “I guess.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He scoffed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” She reassured as he wrapped an arm around her, causing him to roll his eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They continued admiring the sunrise together, in peaceful, soothing states of mind. Just the two of them, no one else in the cold, harsh world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ezra felt Joanne lean further into his shoulder.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He peered over to see them with a sword in their back and blood dripping from their mouth.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Behind her was the inky, midnight blob of a shadowlander.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The next few second were a blur, all Ezra remembered was having fire burst out of his hands as he choked it with all the strength in him until it exploded, becoming nothing more than a black puddle staining the grass.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He turned around to see Joanne lying on their side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then it finally clicked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Joanne was dead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cold.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Limp.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lifeless.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He slowly trudged over to her body, shaking like a leaf in the wind, and sank down to his knees.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He stared into her blue eyes that were once filled to the brim with curiosity, joy, love, and happiness, and wrapped his arms around her back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Time seemed to stop.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was found by soldiers when the sun was high in the sky, wailing at the top of his lungs in mourning for the person he had failed to protect.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. and how do you say, “i love you”?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In the aftermath of Joanne’s death, Sage gets a visit from a good friend of theirs.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title inspiration: if i could tell her from dear evan hansen (yeah yeah i know).</p><p>what if... you told me about how we could both find a magical fountain of youth as i pretend to listen?</p><p>haha, just kidding.</p><p>...unless?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joanne’s death rocked the forest like a boat on the treacherous waves of a stormy ocean.</p><p>Most of it, of course, was in mourning. The lost of their beloved goddess was earth-shattering, and all of the common folks were in a widespread state of grief.</p><p>The members of court were in hushed discussions about how they should process from here. Should the mourning period be two weeks long or a month long?  Would halting all government activity be the most respectful thing to do? Who would take care of all the forest’s animals?<br/>
All these questions and more were being debated at large, circular tables inside the quiet, quaint rooms of Wiltinghaven, the courthouse where all the gods’ most trusted confidants worked in.</p><p>Speaking of the gods, the two remaining guardians of the forest were nothing more than distraught.</p><p>According to her servant and closest friend, Dorothy, Fiona hadn’t done anything since the death of Joanne, besides sleep and eat one bowl of chicken noodle soup, her favorite, each day for dinner. Other than that, she just sat in her massive bedroom on her vanity chair, her wide, dark brown eyes staring down at the wooden floor.</p><p>She didn’t talk, she didn’t move, she didn’t blink, she just stared, as if she was in a trance.</p><p>As for Ezra, no one had seemed him since the incident. There had been a large search party going on, and no one could seem to track him down.</p><p>He had just... disappeared, without a single trance.</p><p>And then there was Sage, Joanne’s servant and messenger serving in the war.</p><p>Or as they were known during that time, X.</p><p>—</p><p>Sage sat on their bunk in the cramped sleeping quarters, where he and all his fellow soldiers slept- or tried to, at least- in the dark night.</p><p>The nights always seemed darker when you were fighting in a war.</p><p>They’d felt numb for the past couple of days. The first two or so days after Joanne’s day, all they did was cry. They cried and wept sobbed about if they were there by their side and not fighting in some  stupid, good for nothing war, they could’ve saved her. And then she would still be here, smiling and laughing and happy, and Fiona and Ezra would both be happy and normal and everyone in the whole forest would just be happy and normal.</p><p>But unfortunately, they weren’t there, and Joanne was deceased.</p><p>General Fredrick was sympathetic to his situation, and thankfully decided to let him rest and focus on himself rather than the exhausting and often dangerous tasks that came with being a messenger in the middle of a war. Right now was a rare instance in which the army men had some free time. Most of them were outside, training, playing card games, having lunch.</p><p>It was one of the only instances of normalcy that had occurred over the past week, where they could all pretend that everything was fine.</p><p>Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.</p><p>He groaned quietly. “Who is it?” He called.</p><p>“Donovan!”</p><p>He could feel his face heat up just at the sound of his best friend’s soft, cheerful voice.</p><p>“...come in.”</p><p>A few clicks from the knob, and Donovan had walked into the room. His hazel eyes met Sage’s brown ones and he smiled. “Hey, old chum!”</p><p>He sat down next to him. “How are you holding up?”</p><p>Sage shrugged. “Better than before, I guess.”</p><p>“Good.” Donovan responded. “Oh, I almost forgot!” He pulled his bag off his shoulder and onto his lap, quickly rummaging through it. “Let’s see, where is it, where is it.... oh!” He yanked out a green apple, handing it to him. “Here you go!”</p><p>Sage gasped and immediately starting devouring it. Donovan chuckled as he watched them. They were a peculiar thing, having only discovered apples around a month prior, but they absolutely loved them.</p><p>When they had finished it, they put the core at their side, and wiped the juice from their lips. “Thanks.” He muttered through his last few bites.</p><p>“No problem!” Donovan replied. He leaned in closer. “Hey, wanna see something cool?”</p><p>“Sure!”</p><p>He pulled out a tiny journal from his bag and tossed it onto Sage’s lap. They opened it, and attempted to read the tiny words scribbled out onto it’s pages. They seemed to be directions to someplace, and wherever that place was, it seemed very sacred.</p><p>“I got it from General Fredrick’s desk.” Their friend explained. “I can’t believe it was just sitting there out in the open like that!”</p><p>“...what is any of this stuff about?”</p><p>“The fountain of youth!” Donovan exclaimed. “This could help us find it!”</p><p>“You’re always talking about that fountain of youth stuff. We don’t even know it actually exists!”</p><p>“Of course it does! Y’know Bethany, right? The nurse with the short blonde hair?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Roger, the old man that lives in the cottage besides Quillsberry Creek?”</p><p>“Mhm.”</p><p>“Miss Walterson, General Fredrick’s wife?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“...do you notice how none of them ever seem to age?”</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>“Well, they don’t, and that’s because they’ve drank from the fountain!” The taller man declared.</p><p>“You don’t know that.” Sage retorted, crossing their arms.</p><p>“Oh, but I do! And here’s how!”</p><p>Sage tried to listen to their best friend ramble on and on about his theories about the legendary fountain that everyone who was anyone and their mothers were all seemingly trying to find, but they were too distracted by his glowing hazel eyes.</p><p>And his beautiful, pearly smile.</p><p>And his soothing, nurturing voice.</p><p>Sage had grown quite fond of Donovan. Ever since they’d been found naked in a bush by his troop, he’d been the only one to give him a chance and to not see him as the weird, quiet messenger and servant to Joanne.</p><p>When he was with him, he didn’t feel like a sad, lonely, pathetic excuse of a person. Instead, he felt happy and loved.</p><p>He just wished he could tell him how he felt.</p><p>“X?”</p><p>“Hm?” Sage -or X- hummed, being snapped out of his thoughts by the voice he loved so much.</p><p>“Are you alright? You seem a bit out of it.”</p><p>“I’m fine, Don.”</p><p>“No, you’re not.” Donovan insisted, opening his arms. “Come here.”</p><p>Sage’s breath hitched.</p><p>Was Donovan offering a hug out to him?</p><p>This wasn’t an opportunity he was gonna pass up, so he fell into his arms, letting him wrap them around him and pull him against his chest.</p><p>He had never felt so giddy inside.</p><p>“You know you can tell me anything, right?” He asked softly, playing with the ends of his hair.</p><p>It was nice to have him play with the ends of his hair.</p><p>Sage nodded, although he knew that was a lie.</p><p>He couldn’t tell Donovan everything.</p><p>But that was fine, they were find having him as just a friend. It was good enough to be in his arms, getting whispered encouraging words as they felt their hair get twirled around in between his fingers.</p><p>For the first time in what felt like years, they didn’t feel numb.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. don’t listen to a word i say (cause screams all sound the same)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ezra returns. His first order of business?<br/>Checking in on Fiona.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter title inspiration: little talks of monsters and men.</p>
<p>yeah this is really bad but im posting it anyways because i really want to get to chapter four. shit hits the fan during chapter four.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dorothy was washing the dishes when she heard the front door of Fiona’s chamber open.</p>
<p>She turned around to face the visitor and gasped.</p>
<p>“Ezra?!”</p>
<p>“In the flesh.”</p>
<p>“...well whatever happened to you?!” Dorothy questioned anxiously, taking a step forward. “No one has known where you were for a week! We all thought you were dead too!”</p>
<p>“I’m fine, Dorothy, I promise.” Ezra responded as he scratched at his huge hand. </p>
<p>“Hello there!”</p>
<p>His head peaked up at the unfamiliar voice.</p>
<p>There, standing a few feet behind Fiona, with wavy red hair and a sweet smile, was a tall woman with one normal eye the color of ice, and the other completely yellow.</p>
<p>“Ezra, this is Valerie!” Dorothy said, rushing to the woman’s side. “She’s staying here to be gently examined by the forest’s finest scientists!”</p>
<p>“It’s so nice to meet you!” The woman-now known to Ezra as Valerie- grinned, her eyes now closed and her head titled.</p>
<p>He gave her a small wave. “Nice meeting you too.” </p>
<p>The god turned back to Dorothy. “So, where’s Fiona?” He asked.</p>
<p>“In her room.” </p>
<p>“Thanks.” Ezra nodded, walking towards one of the two large, slightly crooked stairways, and Dorothy and Valerie watched him disappear down the top floor hall.</p>
<p>“Can we please go shopping now?” The redhead asked as her usual eye went back to normal, perfectly representing her indifferent state.</p>
<p>“Of course we can, Val.”</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“Fiona?”</p>
<p>The goddess was alerted by the sound of Ezra’s voice coming of the other side of her bedroom door, but did not respond to his call.</p>
<p>“...are you in here?”</p>
<p>She decided she had to options. The first one was that she could not answer him at all, and maybe he would leave her chamber. Although Ezra could simply just barge in without permission, there was also the possibility that he would give up searching for her and leave. She didn’t want him seeing her like this, a mute, depressed wreck of a goddess. He’d probably get frustrated with her.</p>
<p>...but then again, what if he didn’t?</p>
<p>What if he saw the low state she was in and understood? What if he tried to help her through her grief, giving her comforting words and gentle encouragements? What if he didn’t have any actual ill intent towards her and only wanted to help?</p>
<p>Those rhetorical questions keep repeating themselves in the back, and they were what motivated Fiona to choose her second option: Letting him in.</p>
<p>She trudged to the door, and slowly opened it with a long, resounding creak.</p>
<p>Ezra swung around, and smiled sadly. “Hey.”</p>
<p>The only acknowledgment Fiona gave him was a tiny nod and a gesture for him to come in, and so he complied.</p>
<p>She immediately returned to her bed, sitting on the edge of it and staring down at the old wooden floor. She was too nervous to even meet his eyes.</p>
<p>That was fine though, Ezra was the exact same way.</p>
<p>“So how are you?”</p>
<p>She didn’t answer because she thought it wasn’t a good question. She knew that he knew how she felt.</p>
<p>“Don’t wanna talk about it, huh?” He got up from his place on her vanity chair and plopped down next to her. “I get it. I don’t really want to, either. I just wanted to check in on you.”</p>
<p>Ezra was the only one (besides lovely Dorothy, of course) who had even bothered to care about her ever since Joanne had been slayed.</p>
<p>She grabbed his hand.</p>
<p>He hesitated for a fleeting moment, but linked his pale white fingers with her umber brown ones, and suddenly she felt alive.</p>
<p>She could feel the connection they had running deep in her bones and her veins, and she adored it, just like she adored him. She wanted to deepen it, and bring him closer to her.</p>
<p>“You okay?”</p>
<p>“I would like to dance with you.” </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I said I would like to dance with you.” Fiona repeated. She looked at Ezra. “Would you?”</p>
<p>“Sure!”</p>
<p>She immediately pulled him up and dragged him out of the room and down the hall, glancing at their intertwined hands every few seconds.</p>
<p>She liked the feeling of being so close to him like that. </p>
<p>They reached the parlor, which was bedazzled with tiny lights dangling from the ceiling like stars and all sorts of large flowers growing out of the walls.</p>
<p>It might’ve looked messy to others, but it was just right for Fiona.</p>
<p>She grabbed Ezra’s other hand. “Are you ready?”</p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p>And so, they began to dance.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Ezra had been in love with Fiona for as long as he could remember.</p>
<p>And who wouldn’t be? She was the most powerful deity known to the forest, and the most beautiful. Although she was known for being quiet and unintentionally blunt, nothing could restrain how truly radiant she was.</p>
<p>But she could never love someone like him back. He was too destructive, too loud, too impulsive for someone like her.</p>
<p>She deserved someone better than him.</p>
<p>Yet here he was, spinning around in circles around the parlor, his arms wrapped around his whole world and her hands holding on tight to his shoulders. </p>
<p>Then he tripped and fell onto the floor with a thud. </p>
<p>“Oh my goodness!” Fiona gasped. She bent down and reached out to him. “I’m so sorry, are you alright?”</p>
<p>“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault.”</p>
<p>He looked up, and their faces were inches away from each other.</p>
<p>“...I gotta go.” He murmured.</p>
<p>“What?!” The goddess cried, clutching his hands once more. “Did I do something wrong?!”</p>
<p>“Of course not!” Ezra reassured, standing up. “It’s just... I have some business to attend to, and I’m already running late.”</p>
<p>He pulled himself up. “I promise I’ll visit you again as soon as I can, okay?”</p>
<p>She nodded, but her face was filled with doubt. </p>
<p>The blonde god’s mouth stretched into a small smile. “See ya.” </p>
<p>“Goodbye.”</p>
<p>Fiona watched as the one she was in love with disappeared down the hallway, yearning once more for his comforting touch.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Oliver scampered across the camp, trying to avoid any leafs or rocks so he wouldn’t be able to make a sound as he made his escape.</p>
<p>Finally, he had dashed by the final cabinet, and up the hill that led out into the unknown of the dark night.</p>
<p>He took one final, scared look down at the camp, and continued running away from everything he had ever known.</p>
<p>Tonight, he was finding the fountain of youth.</p>
<p>He was not prepared for what he was about to experience.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. smoke rises, black as night (blocks the light)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He’s decided to put matters into his own hands.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter title inspiration: burn the old thing up from lizzie the musical.</p>
<p>before we continue this fanfic id like to thank our sponsor smokey bear.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was in the deep, deep part of the commoner forest now.</p>
<p>His long, black leather pants were soaked, knee deep in mucky, mushy green swamp water that he was forced to trudge through, and sticky, damp vines hanging down from the colossal trees clung unto his shoulders and arms. He could feel the pinches and pricks of the tiny creatures that called the swamp their home nibbling away at his bare feet, and the warmth surrounding them as the small trails of blood leaked out.</p>
<p>He really should’ve worn his leather boots for this, no matter how slippery the floors of the muck would’ve been with them.</p>
<p>But it was fine, he could put them back on as soon as he finished his journey through the disgusting waters.</p>
<p>Nothing, absolutely nothing, was gonna slow him down.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>He was hungry, he wanted something to eat.</p>
<p>He searched around high and low, for something, anything, to snack on. He was starving, he hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday morning.</p>
<p>Eventually, he found it. A lone, pure red apple hanging from a low tree branch.</p>
<p>With one hard tug and a slash from some thorns, it was in his hand. Satisfied with his finding, he sat down on a stone, and sunk his teeth into it.</p>
<p>It tasted juicy and just a bit too sweet, with just a twinge of sour added into the savory mix. He threw his head back, staring up at the pale blue, cloudless sky almost entirely blocked out by the emerald green leafs sprouting out from the dusty brown woods of the towering trees.</p>
<p>He lowered his head, and continuing chewing on the apple, grinding it’s crimson skin in between his teeth.</p>
<p>His journey throughout the deep woods was gonna be long, hard, and frustrating, and it was far from over.</p>
<p>But it was his obligation. He had to settle things once and for all, and if he didn’t, no one else would be brave enough to.</p>
<p>He swallowed, and took another bite of his delicious apple.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>It wasn’t long before he came across what seemed to be a tiny, makeshift garden.</p>
<p>Standing just beyond a tiny pond was a oak tree with many blooming flowers surrounding it. It was quite a pleasant sight, so he inched forward to investigate.</p>
<p>He was a little bit knowledgeable about flowers due to Fiona rambling about them to him for hours not too long ago.</p>
<p>He listened to every word she had to say, he adored it when she rambled about her favorite things to him.</p>
<p>Growing from the very end of the tree’s base was a white carnation. Carnations came in three other colors: dark red, light red, and pink, each with their own meaning. White ones just happened to represent luck and purity.</p>
<p>A red tulip was sitting a few feet away from the rest of the flowers. Tulips were always bright and showy, Fiona had said. They were supposed to represent deep love and perfection.</p>
<p>And right in front of his left foot was a pink rose, Fiona’s absolute favorite flower. Roses came in many, many different colors. The pink ones symbolized happiness, gratitude, and grace.</p>
<p>As much as he wanted to keep admiring the little plants, he was getting distracted from his main objective, so he stood up and continued walking down the seemingly endless trail, but not before plucking out the pink rose.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“X!”</p>
<p>Sage was startled awake by one of his fellow soldiers.</p>
<p>“What do you want?” He groaned as he tried rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.</p>
<p>“Have you seen Oliver lately?”</p>
<p>“What? Oh, yeah. He’s right...”</p>
<p>Their face was stricken with fear as they turned around to see that their best friend wasn’t lying on the bunk behind him.</p>
<p>“..last I saw him, he was right there.”</p>
<p>The soldier huffed, a worried expression on his face. “Thanks for letting me know.” He got up, and starting marching out the door. “I’ll report this back to General Fredrick.”</p>
<p>Sage watched him go, fearing the worse.</p>
<p>He wanted to tell him their theory, but who would believe that his friend was going out on a journey to find the fountain of youth?</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>He wasn’t looking, and his arm got caught on a spiky vine. </p>
<p>“Shit!”</p>
<p>It had cut through the sleeve of his jackets and pale skin, blood oozing out from multiple small spots on his arm.</p>
<p>For a god of chaos, he was quite fragile.</p>
<p>Reluctantly, he let the jacket slide off his arms, leaving him in his slashed, sleeveless grey undershirt. He wrapped it around his wounded arm, and sat down on the cold dirt with a thud, waiting for the pain to subside.</p>
<p>He shivered as the cool breeze fly right by him. He curled himself up into a ball, trying to keep himself warm.</p>
<p>What would Joanne say if she saw him in this state?</p>
<p>She’d probably laugh at him and playfully tease him, but she’d still make sure he was okay and try to help him fix up his arm.</p>
<p>But Joanne wasn’t here, Joanne was dead, and he’d never hear her laugh again.</p>
<p>Eventually, his arm stopped bleeding, so he threw his slightly stained jacket back on and continued walking.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>He approached a lake, and decided to swim it in for a little while. </p>
<p>There he sat, among tiny fish and seaweed slapping itself against his hands, the deep blue water splashing against his bare chest.</p>
<p>Although he couldn’t quite see the sky, he could see the area around him getting darker and darker, meaning that the sun was most likely setting, and that night was coming quick.</p>
<p>He knew that he should get going, but he was so tired, he wanted to take a break.</p>
<p>His mind immediately went to Fiona.</p>
<p>Everything he did nowadays was for her. It was all for impress her, to catch her attention, to make her happy.</p>
<p>All he wanted was for her to be happy.</p>
<p>But she didn’t need a man like him, she needed someone gentle and kind, someone who could support her throughout all her hardships, not someone like him.</p>
<p>But he could dream.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“Valerie, can you deliver this to Wiltinghaven for me, please?” </p>
<p>Dorothy walked into Valerie’s room to find her hunched over her bed, gripping her long, red hair in her hands.</p>
<p>“...are you alright, Valerie?” The short woman asked, approaching her friend. She gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t look so good.”</p>
<p>She jolted upright. “Something’s bad is going to happen!” She declared anxiously. Her right eye shined an electric blue to indicate her stressed state.</p>
<p>“What? Val, nothing bad is going to happen, and if it does, Fiona will surely take care of it.” Dorothy reassured. </p>
<p>“But... but I can feel it!” Valerie insisted. “Everytime something bad is about to happen, I get really bad headaches, and... and now I have a headache!”</p>
<p>“Those are just coincidences.” </p>
<p>The redhead huffed, her eye fading back to normal. She snatched the letter from Dorothy. “You wanted me to deliver this?”</p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p>She walked out of the bedroom, preparing to dash down to Wiltinghaven.</p>
<p>“Don’t be long!” Dorothy smiled, waving to her friend.</p>
<p>Both of them felt uneasy inside about what might’ve been to come.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Donovan froze.</p>
<p>There was something rustling in the bushes not too far away from him.</p>
<p>His mind raced with possibilities of what the cause of the noise was. An angry bear ready to dinner? An exhausted soldier coming to find him? Just a little raccoon looking for some nuts or berries to eat?</p>
<p>Well, whatever it was, it’s footsteps were getting louder and louder. There wasn’t much time to hide. </p>
<p>Donovan’s fearful hazel eyes quickly darted around the space, looking for something he could briefly take shelter in. Luckily for him, they landed on a small bush, which he dove into just in time, as a seemingly massive figure barged into view.</p>
<p>He peered out between the moss green leafs, and felt his blood run cold at the sight he saw. </p>
<p>There, just a few feet away from him, was an absolutely humongous man with long, blonde hair tied into a messy ponytail that fell down his back. He wore a slightly oversized black leather jacket, with matching jeans and boots.</p>
<p>It was Ezra, god of fire and disaster.</p>
<p>The god stopped, looked around for a moment, and then continued walking, his footsteps vibrating throughout the air.</p>
<p>Slowly, Donovan peeked his head out of the bush, feeling his heart pound harshly against his chest, watching Ezra walk away.</p>
<p>When he had finally disappeared into the woods, he stood up and walked out, dusting leafs off his legs and arms before scampering away.</p>
<p>He felt nothing short of terrified.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>He had finally made it to his destination.</p>
<p>He stood just an inch beyond the forest, among miles and miles of barren land, save for a couple of houses scattered here and there.</p>
<p>“Hello there, Ezra.”</p>
<p>He swung around to face a gloopy, white eyed, blobby shadowlander.</p>
<p>He pulled out a switch blade and held it up front of it. “Show yourself, or else.” He warned, his tone stern and almost deadly.</p>
<p>The shadowlander closed it’s eyes, and it’s almost ghostly formed devolved, leaving a black puddle on the ground. In it’s place was an older looking woman with long, grey hair and mysterious dark green eyes.</p>
<p>“Where is your leader?” Ezra demanded in a low voice, looking as if he wanted to beat her to a pulp.</p>
<p>“I cannot tell you that.” The woman responded, starting to slowly circle around him. “Why are you here?”</p>
<p>The blonde scoffed. “Like I’d tell you.”</p>
<p>The blonde scoffed. “Like I’d tell you.”</p>
<p>She huffed. “I’m surprised Joanne could put up with you for so long.” </p>
<p>“What did you just say?” He snapped, yanking her close by the collar of her black dress.</p>
<p>“You know what she thought about you, right?” The woman asked. “She thought you were an incompetent, pathetic, horrid excuse for a leader. Even a plagued rat could do better than you.”</p>
<p>Now he was getting pushed to his breaking point.</p>
<p>“And yet you thought you could save her.” She mused, shaking her head. “If you were just a little bit quicker, then maybe she would still be alive, and Fiona would be happy.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you dare bring her into this.”</p>
<p>“What? Want to defend that brainless who-“</p>
<p>It only took one squeeze of her neck for the woman to explode, her black blood stinging and burning itself into his skin.</p>
<p>He sunk to his knees, and broke down into furious, heartbroken tears. </p>
<p>And it seemed that his whole world bursted into flames.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Donovan dashed through the burning forest, scared for his life. Everywhere he looked, he saw a bright red gnawing away at the once beautiful nature that surrounded him. It was getting hotter and hotter, and he couldn’t find an exit to the flames.</p>
<p>And then he saw it.</p>
<p>There, among all the fire and the flames, was a quaint grey fountain, the same one he’d spent most of his life searching for.</p>
<p>He bolted towards the structure and drank its clear, beautiful waters.</p>
<p>He heard a loud, and looked up.</p>
<p>The last thing he saw before everything went black was a burning tree above him collapsing </p>
<p>—</p>
<p>It was all wreckage now.</p>
<p>Ezra wept as everything around him continued to rot and burn around him in a fiery red glare that turned the midnight black sky grey with smoke.</p>
<p>He couldn’t even control his own emotions, and now half the forest was up in flames.</p>
<p>It always spilled out when he was angry, no matter what. One second he was mildly annoyed, and the next, he was burning an entire stack of paper.</p>
<p>He was used to it, though. He ruined everything he touched.</p>
<p>He tried to get ahold of himself, but with every tear that fell down his face a new burst of flame flickered among the fire.</p>
<p>It all suited him.</p>
<p>He was a wild, magnetic burst of energy and flames that burned throughout life, and all the forest citizens bowed down to him for it.</p>
<p>It was good to be king.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. let me be weak, let me sleep (and dream of sheep)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>an epilogue.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter title inspiration: and dream of sheep by kate bush.</p>
<p>this was really fun to write, even if i think some parts are really bad. i hope you guys got some enjoyment out of it, though.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The leader of the shadowlanders surrendered a couple of weeks later, the war was finally over.</p>
<p>It came shortly after a massive fire that wiped out their entire home, nothing was left unscathed.</p>
<p>No one ever knew what caused it.</p>
<p>In a meantime, Joanne’s funeral was finally about to happen. The court had been hovering over the idea of it, but the overwhelming grief of Fiona and Ezra withheld it. But they both knew that it had to occur eventually, every single last villagers deserved to say goodbye to the goddess they all adored so much.</p>
<p>The two gods she was survived by weren’t necessarily ready for it, but they would help each other through it, just like they did with everything.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“Donovan!” Sage called, bursting into his medical room.</p>
<p>“There you are!” Their friend grinned, sitting up from his bed. “I thought I was never gonna see you again!”</p>
<p>Sage practically collapsed into his arms. “Awww, did you miss me?” Donovan teased, holding him tight. </p>
<p>“Of course I did!” Sage responded. They pulled themself up. “So, what did the doctors say?”</p>
<p>“Well,” He pointed to his left leg. “This one was only fractured, so it’ll be good as new in about six or so weeks. This one, however...” He turned over to his opposite leg, grimacing. “Yeah, it’s basically useless now. They’re talking about amputation.”</p>
<p>He looked back up at Sage, who had pure mortification painted on their face.</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t give me that look!” He said as he flapped his hand at them. “I’m not gonna let them do it! I’ll be just fine with a cane!”</p>
<p>They nodded, but they still didn’t look completely reassured. “Sooooo, the fountain...” They continued. “Do you think that fountain actually made you immortal?”</p>
<p>“Only time will tell, X.” </p>
<p>“Oh, it’s Sage now, by the way. I just think it suits me better.”</p>
<p>“Sage, huh?”</p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p>Donovan smiled warmly, making his friend’s stomach fill up with butterflies. “Sage,” He squeezed their shoulder. “You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever known.”</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“Where’s her necklace?”</p>
<p>Joanne lied in her large silver coffin for the thousands upon thousands of citizens of the forest to see. Their face was covered in makeup, with soft pink lipstick coating their cold, chapped lips, and chocolate brown eyeshadow surrounding closed their eyes. They sported a matching v-neck dress and pumps with little white bows on them. In their hands was a bouquet of chrysanthemums, the flowers of life.</p>
<p>She looked absolutely gorgeous, but one piece of the ensemble was missing: Her tiger’s eye necklace.</p>
<p>Dorothy put her finger to Valerie’s mouth. “Be quiet, you might upset Fiona.” She whispered.</p>
<p>Valerie looked over at the goddess, who’s entire body was racking with sobs. Besides her was Ezra, who looked completely emotionless as he stared at his little Joey’s decorated corpse.</p>
<p>She turned away, her right eye a deep blue.</p>
<p>With a nod from Ezra, General Fredrick and three of his most trusted soldiers marched out to the coffin. They were positioned with one man on one it’s four sides.</p>
<p>They stood in silence for a few moments, the entire forest watching them with baited breath. You could hear a pin drop..</p>
<p>Then, they each helped pick it up and began walking down the trail where she would be buried, and Fiona broke down into tears.</p>
<p>Ezra immediately wrapped his arms around her, burying her head in his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He murmured, gently trailing his fingers across her back. “Shh, shh...”</p>
<p>Her muffled sobs echoed throughout the plaza as Ezra’s quiet tears fell onto the ground, reflecting the collective state of the forest they both ruled over.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>A few hours later, well into the night, there was a knock on her bedroom door.</p>
<p>“Who is it?”</p>
<p>“Me.”</p>
<p>“...please come in.”</p>
<p>Ezra made his entrance. </p>
<p>“Hey.”</p>
<p>Fiona didn’t respond, she just stared out at the night sky through the window as she lied on her bed. The blonde god sat down on the chair at her bedside. The two sat in silence because... well, what was there to say?</p>
<p>Eventually, Fiona finally broke it.</p>
<p>“They’re already talking about the creation of another god.”</p>
<p>“Hm?” </p>
<p>“They want to create another god to replace Joanne.” Fiona explained, not looking back at Ezra. “And they want you to create him.”</p>
<p>He shrugged. “Okay.”</p>
<p>The silence returned, and Ezra felt all his feelings and emotions rise up his throat and barge out his mouth.</p>
<p>It was the perfect opportunity. They were alone together with nothing but a painfully awkward silence. He knew it might be a bad idea, he didn’t know how she felt about him, but he had to tell her.</p>
<p>“I love you.”</p>
<p>He looked down at the mahogany floor.</p>
<p>“...what?”</p>
<p>“I love you.” His voice cracked. “You’re the most important thing to me and I try to prove that to you with everything I do. You’re the most special person I’ve ever known, and I know you might not feel the same, but I need to know that I love you.”</p>
<p>He took a deep breath, and the reoccurring silence felt like it was stabbing him in the chest.</p>
<p>“...oh, Ezra.”</p>
<p>Fiona pushed a strain of hair out of his face.</p>
<p>“I’ve always loved you, too.”</p>
<p>The kiss was sweet, soft, and short. Nothing too deep, just Ezra cupping her face in his hands as she gently squeezed her arms. Shared feelings of ecstasy ran through the pair.</p>
<p>They both broke it at the same time, eyes closed and foreheads touching.</p>
<p>The rush of adrenaline wasn’t like anything either of them had felt before.</p>
<p>“...I love you so much, my sunflower.”</p>
<p>“I love you more.”</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“Father?”</p>
<p>Ezra was snapped out of his thoughts about the past by Gus.</p>
<p>“...can I stay with you for the night?”</p>
<p>“Of course you can, kiddo.”</p>
<p>Gus nodded, sniffling. He leaned into Ezra, who stared out the window as he wrapped an arm around his son.</p>
<p>Gus was like his little ray of sunshine, brighting his day up wherever he went. The second he bursted out of his cocoon a hundred years ago, Ezra adopted him as his son. It might’ve been an impulsive decision, yes, but they were a happy family regardless.</p>
<p>He just couldn’t let what happened to Joanne happen again.</p>
<p>So, he held his little bundle of joy in his arms and whispered to him about how special and wonderful he was, not taking a single second for granted.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Sapphire heard the sound of whimpering as soon as she came back from a smoke break outside.</p>
<p>Curious, she approached the source of the sound, Ezra’s office.</p>
<p>And there she saw him at his desk, quietly crying over Joanne’s tiger’s eye necklace.</p>
<p>She huffed, and walked in. She squeezed his shoulder.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” She said. “It’s okay.”</p>
<p>And maybe someday he would be.</p>
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